A Canadian Family

No Trespassing | A Reflection by Peter Lagasse

Regular readers will know Peter Lagasse as the writer of a series of family history articles on some American Lagasses (see link below) but today Peter is giving us something a little different. He’s sharing his take on a delicate situation that many of us have faced.

Guest Post: Peter Lagasse

Research Can Lead You to Some Signs of “NO TRESPASSING”

Being an “Ancestor Detector” can bring many hours of enjoyment. Even when you hit those brick walls that don’t want to come down, there is a feeling of being a Scotland Yard detective determined to find the lose brick that will bring the wall tumbling down. What a thrill of victory comes over you as the wall falls. It is as if you have just won a gold medal in the Olympic Games.

However, researching your family can also lead you down paths that are not so endearing. It can lead you to a person that you were not expecting or had forgotten. And I’m not talking about the deceased ancestor that has a skeleton in his or her closet. Though, I’m sure, we have all run into some of those too. I’m speaking about a living member of the family. Maybe it is an unknown sibling or someone the family has rarely mentioned. This brings us to a different place in our detective work.

What do I do with the new found information? How can I verify this find without upsetting the “apple cart”? Should I make contact with this person? And what do I do if there is a “NO TRESPASSING” sign placed in my path?

Questions that cannot be answered by one simple answer. Questions that may need to be asked to another family member that you feel can be trusted and would give sound advice.

I had one of these situations a few months ago. The person was someone I had known about most of my life but had never met or had any other form of contact. My research, however, had led me to those who had met and knew this person. I was encouraged to give the person a call. A call that could lead to a wonderful new relationship or one that could cause a polite but cool reception.  I called.

A previous call, in a somewhat similar situation, ten years ago brought a wonderful relationship with a brother I never knew existed. This new call was different. There was a polite but very cool reception. I knew I had come to a “NO TRESPASSING” sign in my family research.

What do I do?

• First, respect the person’s desire to be left alone.
• Second, never place information on a public family tree of a living relative without their permission.
• Third, do not judge. We don’t know the circumstances that  caused this cool reception.
• Fourth, keep the information of the person where it can be found for when this individual and any others that may have been upset if the information had been revealed has passed away. It then can be added to the family tree at the appropriate time.

Our tree must be genuine, but it may require patience before all the leaves can be placed on that tree.

Whether  they be brick walls or “No Trespassing” signs you run into as you research your family roots, never let go of the desire to learn about those who have gone on before you. You have their blood running through your veins. Without those direct ancestors you would not be here. Find out who you are by discovering your roots as Alex Haley did over 30 years ago. A discovery that has led thousands to start their own path of discovery for their roots, or may we say the leaves of the branches of their family tree.

Other posts by the same author (scroll down to American Lagasses)

Index: Mignier dit Lagaces – French Canadians

February 5, 2010 - Posted by Evelyn Yvonne Theriault | 16900022